The Drunkard and the Bus driver

This is a short one on something that happened just a while ago. It was really funny to me and so I decided to share it.

It was on Christmas Eve last year o! and I had decided to go spend it with my bro. I had closed from work the previous day and reckoned that it would be quite a drab if I spent the Xmas alone, having done that the previous Xmas. There was no way I was going to spend this one all by myself as my friends had all travelled. So I got on a train to bros’s place. After some one hour, I arrived Woolich Arsenal train station. I had to then take a bus to Plumstead station from where bros’s pad was only a stone throw away. But you see the world spun too quickly and I got on the wrong bus, and it was in this very bus that the episode took place.

One passenger, a man, about forty-ish I reckon, was standing quite a distance from the driver. No be say seat no dey to sit down o! Besides there were some empty seats. But the dude for some reason chose to stand. Now on the way something happened, and the driver had to slam the brakes really hard and you can imagine what happened to this man. I heard something which sounded like a heavy sack of whatever being dragged along the floor. It went on a few seconds after which a loud bang followed. Hey! Chukwunna!! Laugh wan kill me die. The sudden brake of the bus had cost the man his balance. It appeared that bros had not only landed on the floor, but had also proceeded to the front of the bus by sliding on the floor. In my mind I said “which kind play be dis?” No wonder the dragging sound I heard. And oh! The loud bang was actually his head on the bottom dash board. He had slid his way to the front of the bus and banged his head hard against the dash board.

For about 10 seconds everyone just stopped and stared at each other and at the man on the floor. And in this 10 odd seconds that everyone was trying to piece together what had just happened, na so the bros just lie down for ground like wood. He wasn’t moving at all. I think he too was shocked and in disbelief at what had just happened to him. It was at this point that it occurred to some lady who was closest to him that she needed to help him up. As the guy take lie down there me sef think say it’s either the man don die or e don break neck. Period. Anyway, the woman gets to him and helps him to his feet, and he’s perfectly alright. Oya com sit down now. No! Bros retook his position o! and started to curse at the driver. “Is that how you break you f@#%ing idiot?” and that went on for another 5 minutes.

I got to my stop anyways, and made my way out of the bus. It was as I passed him that I smelt booze around him. In my mind I said “oooooooooookkkkkkkk, na so bros. no wonder!! It was Christmas Eve and he had probably been out celebrating and drinking and was going home when he decided to treat his beloved audience to a spectacle.